Three passages

What's the importance?


Page 134.
"And nothing I could say could spoil it?" she said.
"Nothing," I said.
"All right," she said, "I have something to say that I was afraid to say before. I'm not afraid to say it now."
"Say away!" I said lightly.
"I'm not Helga," she said. "I'm her little sister Resi."

Mainly, I picked this passage because this is such a great way to relate this post to the idea of nation of two, which was a big part of my last post in the poem. Starting off, so called Helga, who we found out is actually Resi, starts out by talking to Howard about love. She talks to him about their souls being in love, and then, she questions it just a little. She asks him if he is sure taht he has that feeling for her, and he says, with a lot of confidence, that he does. Finally, she asks him if anything she says could or would change his mind about that, and Howard answers no. So then...she tells him that she is Resi. Tells him that she is not the woman who he was in love with, but her little sister. This is where everything started to get a little shady for me. As soon  as I found out that Resi was lying, I got suspicious. This made me question her actions and words from here on now, and of coure, we later find out that she's a Russian and was in on the plan to get Howard arrested. That is the main reason why I picked this passage, for me, it was the turning point in the story for a lot of things, such as the trust and love that was revolved around Howard.
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Page 162.
"The New York Daily News suggested that my biggest war crime was not killing myself like a gentleman. Presumably Hitler was a gentleman."

As soon as I read this, I underlined and circled and boxed in this quote. This really caught my attention. Howard starts off this chapter by talking about the people who are volunteering to catch or kill him. He explains how hw understands their point of view, and then, starts giving examples from newspapers. Examples that explain to us that he really is hated in the society. He even says that the police would be willing to give him the protection of a battalion of Marines, because his enemies were so numerous and murderous. But then, he says this. That the New York Daily News said that he should have been a gentleman, just like Hitler, and killed himself. I had to stop and re-read this, because it didn't make any sense to me. Howard ended up being such a good spy, that he even fooled the country that he was working for...and now, he was hated all over the world. People went as far as caling Hitler, of all people, Hitler, a gentleman, only to insult Howard. This is the part of the reading where you have to do a double take, and really let this sink in, because this is a very powerful and deep statement.
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Page 211.
"I knew them for what they were, but the fact remained that they were all I had."

This very well related to the poem as well. The big idea about being alone in the nation of two plays in here. Being alone, mainly. After talking to Wirtanen, and finding out that Kraft and Resi were actually Russian agents who are actually against him, he still goes back to them. After he was told that he would be captured, arrested, and raided if he went back, he still does it. I have a feeling that, after Helga died and he found Resi and Kraft, he did not want to go back to being alone anymore. This really touched me, the fact that, after finding out that they were spies, he went back to them, mainly because he loved Resi and Kraft was a true friend for him. This is definitely something I would mention in any writing that asks for an important passage in the story, because he even admits that he knows that they're spies and against him, but goes back to them.

Found Poem #2

Alone in the Nation of Two

Howard:
Only one thing counted-
The nation of two,
and when that nation ceased to be,
I became what I am and will be.

A stateless person.

Kraft:
When my wife died, I had no allegiance...
to ANYTHING on earth. I too...
was a meaningless fragment of a nation of two...

I discovered something I had never known before,
what a true friend
was.
I throw my lot in with you gladly, friend.
Nothing else interests and attracts me.
With your permission, my paints and
I would like to go wherever
Fate takes you next.

Howard:
This is a true friendship indeed.

I used quotes from pages 43, 156, and 157. I identified the speaker of each quote. The main poetic techniques I used were rhyming and starting a good amount of my lines with the same thing, such as "I". The lines that are supposed to rhyme have the rhyming word(s) underlined so it's easier to tell. I also tried to make "nation of two" stand out by making them italicized. What I mainly tried focusing on was being alone in the nation of two, something Kraft and Howard both shared. Howard said that after his wife left him, he felt like he was a stateless person. Kraft called himself a meaningless fragment of a nation of two. To me, both of those things sound very similar to each other. And, to add on to that, Howard calls it a true friendship, because they can relate to each other, and even though Kraft was some-what in on the plan to arrest Howard, I think he honestly did feel like they were good friends. I think what he said about following Howard wherever fate takes him was a sincere statement by Kraft. In my opinion, friendship and being alone are a good part of this book. Being alone also goes along with the main theme of this book, which is identity. Howard and Kraft both lost their wives, who truly loved, and they lost that portion of their life which was having a nation of two with the person you love. They were left there, by themselves, like they didn't even belong. In my opinion, this portion of the book is really important. It caught my attention.

Connection

Much earlier in the year, we read the book The Things They Carried. One of the biggest ideas that the book stressed was intangible burdens. Emotions, to be exact. And so far, that is what stands out the most to me in Mother Night. Howard mentions numerous times how he is pretty much emotionless. He says that he “was feeling no pain” (Vonnegut 46). He worked as a spy, and he has done a lot of things that anybody in his position would feel bad doing. Near the beginning of the novel, Bernard Mengel says that Howard is “the only man who has a bad conscience about what he did in the war” (15). Now, this may be true, because we do see that Howard has some crazy dreams. But they’re mostly about Helga. His wife. And she is what got him through the war. Howard mentions that his “narcotic was what had gotten him through the war; it was an ability to let his emotions be stirred by only one thing-his love for Helga”(47). As for everything else, there was no emotion involved. Or that’s how he makes it seem. I feel like he has a lot of intangible burdens that he carries with him. He just denies it. But Bernard tells him about his dreams, and even though Howard says that he can see why he is having these dreams, he still seems to be a bit in denial. Now, in TTTC, the soldiers don’t exactly deny their intangible burdens. They know, and admit, that they’re there. But the main connection, in my eyes, is the fact that there are emotional burdens. Both novels also concern war, fighting, and living with the intangible burdens after it's all over.

A Miserable Attempt

Found Poem

He came back from France,

when Tom and Daisy

Were

still on their wedding trip.

He made a miserable

but irresistible

journey to Louisville.

He used his last army pay.

He stayed there a week.

He walked the streets

where Their footsteps

Had 

clicked together

through the November

night.

He revisited the out-of-way places

to which They had driven in Her

White car.

Used just one quote from page 152.

"He came back from France when Tom and Daisy were still on their wedding trip, and made a miserable but irresistible journey to Louisville on the last of his army pay. He stayed there a week, walking the streets where their footsteps had clicked together through the November night and revisiting the out-of-the-way places to which they had driven in her white car."

I only altered a few things in this poem. I made sure I singled out "He" as much as possible because I wanted to single out Gatsby and show that he is making the effort throughout the story to find and get Daisy back. I put a period after "army pay" because, again, I wanted to start a new sentence and have "He" stand out. Also, I capitilized words like Their, They, and Were. Mainly, I capitilized Were to stress the fact that Daisy and Tom were still on their wedding trip, but Gatsby still made an attempt to go to Louisville. I tried having a few things rhyme, like miserable and irresistible, and together with November. I chose this quote because it helps stress the fact that Gatsby tries geting Daisy back this whole time. He keeps throwing parties just to see her, he went to look for her while she was gone on her honey moon with her husband...he just never gave up. Near the end, I made sure to single out "White car" because another big image in this whole story is cars, and this was the best way to focus on another topic of this story while having in mind the fact that Gatsby keeps chasing after Daisy.

Gymnastics, a very unusual Walden

My Walden came into my life about three years ago. I was having a conversation with my mom, and she convinced me to do gymnastics. I was against it, but she forced me, and I ended up doing it. The ironic thing is, what I didn't want to do ended up being one of the most valued and important things in my life. It became my Walden, or "a satisfaction with less, in the sense that less of one thing, pressure, intensity, busyness or affluence means a trade for something else, such as self-determination, personal satisfaction, spiritual fulfillment or other things not valued so highly on the trading floor" as said in  What Thoreau Knew by John Shepler. Personally though, that's not my only definition for Walden. For me, Walden is a lot more than a satisfaction with less. For me, it's also that place that I go to when all else fails, it's my escape. It’s where I feel great, where nothing can distract me, nothing on my mind except gymnastics. 

Whenever I enter the gym, it's like I’m in a new world. All I need is a high bar, a set of rings, and a set of grips. Those are my essential things for contentment in my other world.   

That might just seem like a set of rings and a high bar to you. And to an extent, that's exactly what it is. But for me, it's way more. For me, this is my other world, a better world. If anything goes wrong, I can just brush it off, and get back up on the equipment and try again and again. In life, you don't get an infinite amount of tries, but in gymnastics, you do.

Okay, maybe I don’t get an infinite amount of tries. But I definitely get a lot more tries to try or do a new trick in gymnastics than I would doing something new in life. Or something difficult. Or something important. I think one of the most wanted things in life that’s not possible to have is a re-do. So, in a sense, I feel incredibly lucky. Because, my Walden, my other world, gives me so many re-do’s…and it’s a lot easier to excel, to do better, to get it right.  In my opinion, constantly getting better, always up-beat, in a good mood…that is definitely going beyond the ordinary. Just as Emerson said, “With consistency, a great soul has simply nothing to do” in his piece called Self Reliance. Now, yeah, what I just said does seem like it’s consistent. But it’s the consistency which is out of the ordinary; it’s a different kind of consistency and to me that definitely qualifies as a Walden.  

Yes, there are times when gymnastics doesn’t go great, and I fall off the equipment, or I hurt myself, or I simply can’t get a trick. But that’s okay, because I have the next day, and the day after that, to get it, and it feels even better after I get back on track.

Once I accomplish something new, I feel even more confident. Most of the time, I tend to do my own thing. Just like Emerson, “what I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.” Sometimes, people try to tell me what to do, like change my routine up a bit, or take out a trick. Yes, just like everyone else, I like advice and a little bit of criticism, but I don’t like when people tell me what to do with my routine. Its part of my Walden, part of my other, more perfect world. I like it the way it is. Only time I consider putting changes in my routine is if I get a new trick, and the coach and I talk about it. That’s exactly why I do what I need to, and not what people think I should do. That has been working for me, and I don’t plan on changing it. I have confidence in myself and in my gymnastics.

Confidence in your self and what you do is one of the most essential things you can have. Paul Hamm, who was and still is the biggest part of the USA Men’s Olympic Gymnastics team, has a look of confidence on his face no matter what equipment he’s competing on.

Whether it's rings...

Or Parallel Bars...

Or, my favorite, High Bar...

Just taking a look at this picture...not only do I see a look of confidence on Hamm's face, but a smirky smile, which is going beyond confident, and moving onto the cocky stage. To me, that's not a bad thing, that's incredible, having such confidence in yourself and your abilities that you have a smirky smile during a worldwide competition.


Hamm started gymnastics at a very young age, just like any other great gymnast would, alongside his twin brother Morgan Hamm. The unique thing about them, however, is that they were both in the Olympics at the age of 17, and Paul Hamm was the powerhouse of the team. That’s exactly one of the reasons why I look up to him, and why I strive so hard in gymnastics. 
Doing gymnastics everyday might seem boring. But it’s not. To me, that’s part of my daily routine, part of my life which makes it all worth it, and helps me get through the toughest moments in life. I get frustrated, if for some reason, I have to miss gymnastics more than twice a week. It has become a part of me, MY Walden, and that’s usually the first thing on my mind when I wake up. Doing gymnastics makes me feel refreshed, stronger, and better. Thoreau once said, “Renew thyself completely each day; do it again, and again, and forever again.” That’s exactly what I do with gymnastics, I renew myself. I let go of the past, get excited for the present, and can’t wait for the future. And I feel like this each and every day due to gymnastics. 
During summer, I do gymnastics. During fall, I do gymnastics. During winter, I also do gymnastics. And in the spring, the season in school starts…and guess what? I do gymnastics then too. 
When the school year starts, gymnastics is what mainly helps me get through the school day, because it’s what I look forward to all day. As much as I hate admitting it, in this sense, I’m just like most people. I can’t stand school. But knowing that at the end of the day, I can finally go in the gym (my Walden), take off my shirt, put on my wristbands, put on my grips, rub some chalk on them, and get up on the high bar, makes me WANT to get through the school day.


Plus, let's face it. How can anyone not WANT end their day and go to gymnastics practice after seeing this?
















And so, out of all the things I can turn to in my life, something that has been in my life for three years is the most valued thing for me; it's my Walden, it's where I can escape reality, where everything feels right, and when I'm in my Walden, doing what I love and do best...nothing can stop me from having confidence in myself and my life. My Walden: The Gymnastics Gym and Doing Gymnastics, because I am a Gymnast.