Connection

Much earlier in the year, we read the book The Things They Carried. One of the biggest ideas that the book stressed was intangible burdens. Emotions, to be exact. And so far, that is what stands out the most to me in Mother Night. Howard mentions numerous times how he is pretty much emotionless. He says that he “was feeling no pain” (Vonnegut 46). He worked as a spy, and he has done a lot of things that anybody in his position would feel bad doing. Near the beginning of the novel, Bernard Mengel says that Howard is “the only man who has a bad conscience about what he did in the war” (15). Now, this may be true, because we do see that Howard has some crazy dreams. But they’re mostly about Helga. His wife. And she is what got him through the war. Howard mentions that his “narcotic was what had gotten him through the war; it was an ability to let his emotions be stirred by only one thing-his love for Helga”(47). As for everything else, there was no emotion involved. Or that’s how he makes it seem. I feel like he has a lot of intangible burdens that he carries with him. He just denies it. But Bernard tells him about his dreams, and even though Howard says that he can see why he is having these dreams, he still seems to be a bit in denial. Now, in TTTC, the soldiers don’t exactly deny their intangible burdens. They know, and admit, that they’re there. But the main connection, in my eyes, is the fact that there are emotional burdens. Both novels also concern war, fighting, and living with the intangible burdens after it's all over.

A Miserable Attempt

Found Poem

He came back from France,

when Tom and Daisy

Were

still on their wedding trip.

He made a miserable

but irresistible

journey to Louisville.

He used his last army pay.

He stayed there a week.

He walked the streets

where Their footsteps

Had 

clicked together

through the November

night.

He revisited the out-of-way places

to which They had driven in Her

White car.

Used just one quote from page 152.

"He came back from France when Tom and Daisy were still on their wedding trip, and made a miserable but irresistible journey to Louisville on the last of his army pay. He stayed there a week, walking the streets where their footsteps had clicked together through the November night and revisiting the out-of-the-way places to which they had driven in her white car."

I only altered a few things in this poem. I made sure I singled out "He" as much as possible because I wanted to single out Gatsby and show that he is making the effort throughout the story to find and get Daisy back. I put a period after "army pay" because, again, I wanted to start a new sentence and have "He" stand out. Also, I capitilized words like Their, They, and Were. Mainly, I capitilized Were to stress the fact that Daisy and Tom were still on their wedding trip, but Gatsby still made an attempt to go to Louisville. I tried having a few things rhyme, like miserable and irresistible, and together with November. I chose this quote because it helps stress the fact that Gatsby tries geting Daisy back this whole time. He keeps throwing parties just to see her, he went to look for her while she was gone on her honey moon with her husband...he just never gave up. Near the end, I made sure to single out "White car" because another big image in this whole story is cars, and this was the best way to focus on another topic of this story while having in mind the fact that Gatsby keeps chasing after Daisy.

Gymnastics, a very unusual Walden

My Walden came into my life about three years ago. I was having a conversation with my mom, and she convinced me to do gymnastics. I was against it, but she forced me, and I ended up doing it. The ironic thing is, what I didn't want to do ended up being one of the most valued and important things in my life. It became my Walden, or "a satisfaction with less, in the sense that less of one thing, pressure, intensity, busyness or affluence means a trade for something else, such as self-determination, personal satisfaction, spiritual fulfillment or other things not valued so highly on the trading floor" as said in  What Thoreau Knew by John Shepler. Personally though, that's not my only definition for Walden. For me, Walden is a lot more than a satisfaction with less. For me, it's also that place that I go to when all else fails, it's my escape. It’s where I feel great, where nothing can distract me, nothing on my mind except gymnastics. 

Whenever I enter the gym, it's like I’m in a new world. All I need is a high bar, a set of rings, and a set of grips. Those are my essential things for contentment in my other world.   

That might just seem like a set of rings and a high bar to you. And to an extent, that's exactly what it is. But for me, it's way more. For me, this is my other world, a better world. If anything goes wrong, I can just brush it off, and get back up on the equipment and try again and again. In life, you don't get an infinite amount of tries, but in gymnastics, you do.

Okay, maybe I don’t get an infinite amount of tries. But I definitely get a lot more tries to try or do a new trick in gymnastics than I would doing something new in life. Or something difficult. Or something important. I think one of the most wanted things in life that’s not possible to have is a re-do. So, in a sense, I feel incredibly lucky. Because, my Walden, my other world, gives me so many re-do’s…and it’s a lot easier to excel, to do better, to get it right.  In my opinion, constantly getting better, always up-beat, in a good mood…that is definitely going beyond the ordinary. Just as Emerson said, “With consistency, a great soul has simply nothing to do” in his piece called Self Reliance. Now, yeah, what I just said does seem like it’s consistent. But it’s the consistency which is out of the ordinary; it’s a different kind of consistency and to me that definitely qualifies as a Walden.  

Yes, there are times when gymnastics doesn’t go great, and I fall off the equipment, or I hurt myself, or I simply can’t get a trick. But that’s okay, because I have the next day, and the day after that, to get it, and it feels even better after I get back on track.

Once I accomplish something new, I feel even more confident. Most of the time, I tend to do my own thing. Just like Emerson, “what I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.” Sometimes, people try to tell me what to do, like change my routine up a bit, or take out a trick. Yes, just like everyone else, I like advice and a little bit of criticism, but I don’t like when people tell me what to do with my routine. Its part of my Walden, part of my other, more perfect world. I like it the way it is. Only time I consider putting changes in my routine is if I get a new trick, and the coach and I talk about it. That’s exactly why I do what I need to, and not what people think I should do. That has been working for me, and I don’t plan on changing it. I have confidence in myself and in my gymnastics.

Confidence in your self and what you do is one of the most essential things you can have. Paul Hamm, who was and still is the biggest part of the USA Men’s Olympic Gymnastics team, has a look of confidence on his face no matter what equipment he’s competing on.

Whether it's rings...

Or Parallel Bars...

Or, my favorite, High Bar...

Just taking a look at this picture...not only do I see a look of confidence on Hamm's face, but a smirky smile, which is going beyond confident, and moving onto the cocky stage. To me, that's not a bad thing, that's incredible, having such confidence in yourself and your abilities that you have a smirky smile during a worldwide competition.


Hamm started gymnastics at a very young age, just like any other great gymnast would, alongside his twin brother Morgan Hamm. The unique thing about them, however, is that they were both in the Olympics at the age of 17, and Paul Hamm was the powerhouse of the team. That’s exactly one of the reasons why I look up to him, and why I strive so hard in gymnastics. 
Doing gymnastics everyday might seem boring. But it’s not. To me, that’s part of my daily routine, part of my life which makes it all worth it, and helps me get through the toughest moments in life. I get frustrated, if for some reason, I have to miss gymnastics more than twice a week. It has become a part of me, MY Walden, and that’s usually the first thing on my mind when I wake up. Doing gymnastics makes me feel refreshed, stronger, and better. Thoreau once said, “Renew thyself completely each day; do it again, and again, and forever again.” That’s exactly what I do with gymnastics, I renew myself. I let go of the past, get excited for the present, and can’t wait for the future. And I feel like this each and every day due to gymnastics. 
During summer, I do gymnastics. During fall, I do gymnastics. During winter, I also do gymnastics. And in the spring, the season in school starts…and guess what? I do gymnastics then too. 
When the school year starts, gymnastics is what mainly helps me get through the school day, because it’s what I look forward to all day. As much as I hate admitting it, in this sense, I’m just like most people. I can’t stand school. But knowing that at the end of the day, I can finally go in the gym (my Walden), take off my shirt, put on my wristbands, put on my grips, rub some chalk on them, and get up on the high bar, makes me WANT to get through the school day.


Plus, let's face it. How can anyone not WANT end their day and go to gymnastics practice after seeing this?
















And so, out of all the things I can turn to in my life, something that has been in my life for three years is the most valued thing for me; it's my Walden, it's where I can escape reality, where everything feels right, and when I'm in my Walden, doing what I love and do best...nothing can stop me from having confidence in myself and my life. My Walden: The Gymnastics Gym and Doing Gymnastics, because I am a Gymnast.